i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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