You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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