whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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