2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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