i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
