my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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