After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
