I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
