I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
