This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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