I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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