You're a womanizer and a bitch.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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