Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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