there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
