guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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