Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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