Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
