I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
