yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
