I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
