this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
