dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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