i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
