I wish I could punch you in the face.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
