He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize