she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
