The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize