he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
