yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
