All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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