Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
