i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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