I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I am puke
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
