she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he was CRYING into my vagina
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
