I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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