I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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