New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize