Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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