wat bout pragnant strippers??
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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