I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
