you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
