Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
