absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
