He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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