Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i think i have two assholes
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
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So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
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Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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