I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
