do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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