I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
