i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
