He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
