So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
