It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
