if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
