ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
