Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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