apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
